ThinkingSkull.com

I drink a lot of Diet Pepsi and Diet Dr. Pepper. Pepper is my favorite, but I drink it too quickly before reaching for another; Diet Pepsi slows me down. Why diet? Because when you imbibe as much caffeine as I do, zero calories works out a lot better than 180 sugar calories for a 12 oz. can.

But I digress. I like food, all kinds of food. I like flavors and textures and salty and sweet. I prefer bold flavors but not “loud” ones. Anyone can take hot sauce and pour it over wings and call them hot wings, but Frank’s Cayenne Pepper Red•Hot Sauce has a flavor which is distinct and you’re not gonna find in just any place.

Same goes for Snyder’s of Berlin BBQ Potato Chips, the one in the foil bag that looks like a red brick fireplace. I don’t care if Lay’s bets you can’t eat just one; I will put down a family-sized bag of Snyder’s when I get my hands on one (which usually only happens once a year, thank goodness).

Now, Doritos are available pretty much everywhere and at one time were my favorite snack when it was time for snacking. No, not “crispy orange nacho triangles” or whatever the Save-O-Bunch market generic brand was, but actual Nacho Cheese Doritos. As of late, however, I’ve noticed my Doritos no longer seem as bold or flavorful. In fact, it’s almost as if someone has secretly replaced my crispy golden cheesy snack for (gasp!) nasty orange triangles (for the record, yes, I noticed).

Fortunately, I have discovered a new obsession: Black Pepperjack Doritos. Like the first time I tried the nacho cheese, there’s something just a little spicier than normal without overdoing it. I find myself craving these things when I’m just a little peckish (”Breakfast time. Lessee… eggs, oatmeal, poppy tarts, Peanut Butter Crunch cereal… oooh Black Pepperjack Doritos!”) and it’s becoming an obsession. Am I alone?

I can’t be the only one eating these things because each time I quest for the $0.99 gun-metal gray Dorito bag, there’s only one left and I take it. Yet EVERY time I go up to the counter, someone invariably asks me if they’re any good and that they have been thinking about trying them. Heck, yeah, try ‘em, but not the ones in THIS bag. These are MINE. Get your own bag.