ThinkingSkull.com

I was going to start this post by saying, “It sucks to be a single American man in today’s day and age if you have any hope or desire to create a family.” It dawned on me only after I wrote it that I was wrong; I should be asking this question instead: “What do women expect from men?”

Here’s where I’m coming from. Expectations in any relationship used to be clearly defined and advertised, even handed down from parent to child. Nowadays, anyone can be anything they want, and as soon as one partner wants something else, there’s no dedication to a commitment to hold them back from it; someone wins, someone loses, and periodically kids and debts are in the middle. What used to be the lament of “nice guys” everywhere has now grown to an outcry from almost all men. It’s no longer a question of being a protector, a lover, a provider, or a partner; even those few of men who can manage all of the above can’t seem to hold a relationship together… in the traditional sense.

Maybe that’s where “The American Dream” disappeared to (if it ever really existed at all). Husband, wife, kids, car, house, happiness, retirement… crap. It was expected and government sponsored. But consider the two-income household to meet debts, creating the career woman who doesn’t need a man (again, in the traditional sense). If a woman projects that she “has it all” and needs nothing from a man (which, to be fair, is kind of what men have held over women for a while), what can he do to entice her to stay?

How about this question: “Are meaningful relationships even relevant anymore?” Meet, reproduce, make alimony and child support payments. Is that all there is now? Does anyone even want a family anymore? After all, there will always been men pursuing women no matter how much men are pushed away or must endure for the little companionship they seek, right?

Maybe the need to be needed by someone is something men need to get over, that the “save the damsel” mentality that has kept the human race going for thousands of years is finally spent and antiquated. Perhaps there are signs now that men are giving up trying for that brass ring, soul mate, or “the one.” Or, perhaps, it’s time for a role reversal, where men stop trying for a while and wait to be pursued. There’s always been a few “good ones” that the ladies refer to wanting, but what if men collectively just detached themselves from the whole pursuit and just took care of their own needs, period? And if that’s already happening, what might happen next?

I found the following ad on a popular website, and I can’t help but wonder if this is the tip of a whole new iceberg. Without identifying the product being advertised directly, here’s the pitch itself. Has it really come to this?

“You’re About To Learn Secrets That Most Women Will Never Know About Meeting And Keeping Great Men…” Inside you’ll learn…

• What goes on inside a man’s mind… and how attraction works for him.
• How to “cheat-proof” your relationship… and why he might be tempted.
• The ten fatal mistakes to avoid that most women make with men.
• What to do if your man has a “wandering eye”.
• The differences in how men and women think about dating… and why most men want to keep you from being successful.
• The seven secrets to communicating with a man that will create lasting love and affection.
• The truth about men who aren’t “emotionally available”… how to know if you’ve got one and what to do if you’re dating one.
• The five things women do that annoy men and kill intimacy.
• The inside tips married women know about the tell-tale signs of a great guy.

You’ve come a long way, bro.