ThinkingSkull.com

… and I can’t think of anything to say about that, except maybe…

“Ratsh*t, batsh*t, dirty little tw*t,
96 a$$holes tied in a knot,
Yay! Lizardsh*t! F*ck!”

Give my regards to Sam Kinison (if you meet him hell). And Dean Winchester.
You will be missed, sir.

Imagine if you could only log onto the Internet using your real name, communicate with only one email address, and be charged with a felony for every time you didn’t? What if anonymity online became a criminal act? It could happen… and sooner than you think.

In an article entitled The Girl Who Will Change the Internet?, G4’s TheFeed laments the decision by their overlords to discontinue using “screen names” or any form of anonymous logons other than their own names for any posts. This is a preemptive compliance with something that could become very real because there have already been attempts to make it happen.

The article describes 13-year old Megan Meiers, a girl with a history of diagnosed mental problems who was duped into believing the fake “Josh Evans” was a real person and eventually committed suicide over what she perceived to be a good and trusted friend turning on her. Worse yet, the fictional boyfriend was actually the mother of a childhood friend who was using the account and fake identity to monitor her own daughter’s well being. With nothing in the real world to actually charge the woman with other than being mean and irresponsible as an adult, pressure on law makers have forced them to come up with “one count of Conspiracy and 3 counts of Accessing Protected Computers Without Authorization,” essentially described as lying to the MySpace servers.

Anyone who knows me at all knows I’m signed up all over the ‘Net as “Grim D. Reaper.” The character is a fictionalization used to promote my movie website and, frankly, it has met with positive response. Before that I was “The Crystal Lich,” which is a little harder to visualize conceptually and hence the reason for the change when I started making promotional YouTube videos. But am I committing a crime, a felony no less, by representing myself as a character?

A friend of mine suggested the following: if a blanket rule of non-anonymity were criminalized throughout US history, would Samuel Clemens have been thrown in jail for publishing his works under the pseudonym Mark Twain? How about Stephen King for using Richard Bachman? Vampire author Anne Rice as erotic writer Anne Rampling? Pen names and screen names are ways of creating identity and often self-marketing to avoid “brand” confusion, and just because you’re not a multi-media conglomerate business shouldn’t mean that you’re not allowed to use the freedom and freebies of the Internet to accomplish the same thing.

While what happened to Megan Meiers is a tragedy, the fact was that she was doing things that should have been monitored and that her own parents have a certain degree of responsibility as well, creating any blanket rule criminalizing anonymity would be too ambiguous. The same rules that already apply to discussing sex to a known minor online being illegal (and damn well should be) could be extended to include suggesting tasks harmful to the minor.

One of the key words here is “known,” because if a child misrepresents themselves as an adult online, then either the child or the child’s parent must assume some responsibility (last time I checked, no one’s blog comment system came with a government ID check nor could many afford to implement one). With regard to the Megan Meiers incident, the adult in question knew that they were talking to a child, knew who the child was, and instigated the cruel crowd mentality that has destroyed plenty of childhoods. The other word is “task,” which I have used in this preliminary bit of text: “to hold responsible any adult knowingly suggesting to a minor any task intentionally detrimental to the minor’s welfare.” My thoughts are that willfully making statements resulting in a child’s death would certainly infer responsibility.

“Conspiracy,” sadly, is broad and ambiguous enough without adding “Accessing Protected Computers Without Authorization” as code for “you lied on your sign-up form.” While everyone (including myself) thinks the woman being charged should shoulder some responsibility for this (even if its just community service educating minors on the dangers of the Internet), these broad charges resulting in a conviction could set the precedent needed to again attempt to make ‘Net anonymity illegal, and that’s a bad thing.

My name is Alan Smithee, and I approved this message.

Most people who fly anywhere at all in the United States are pretty used to the new routine (laptops out, shoes off, carry on bags through “the machine,” ID and boarding pass, please). Most of the security people at each of the terminals I recently went through we’re all pretty joyless about their jobs… EXCEPT in Las Vegas!

At the ‘D’ terminal gate, a jealously-enormous television screen shows you what can and cannot taken on the plane. To illustrate the fact, “Star Trek” Federation “Red Shirt” security personal demonstrate what can happen when a Klingon tries to sneak guns and knives through the checkpoint. Hilarious, yes (especially for 1337est geeks like myself), but isn’t this clearly promoting “species profiling?”

You be the judge. Check out someone’s YouTube video of the educational film.

I’m flying out to the West Coast to visit a friend this weekend, but part of this trip is also to clean out my portion of a storage unit and have what I’m not throwing away shipped back with me. I’ve asked my buddy out there (repeatedly) to take a few digital snapshots of the stuff to help me pre-sort it, but that hasn’t happened (thanks, Ed… you’re buying the first round). My ulterior motive for the request, however, was that I can’t seem to remember too much of what is actually there.

A lot of teens graduating high school can’t see past their senior year, and up until I joined the Navy, I only had a thought as to what I wanted to do with my life and neither the focus nor ambition to move in that direction. I believe I was 22 when I enlisted, 23 by the time I got there, and after traveling the world, enduring the rise and fall of an infamous ISP, and getting married then divorced, it has been almost half my life since looking through all the things I thought were important to me back then… my “half-life,” if you will.

I know there are books in there I want to keep and hope aren’t damaged. I also remembered my original Worlds of Wonder “Lazer Tag” equipment is there, too, with the old-fashioned toy guns that didn’t have the mandatory orange tips (no taking those on the plane). Everything else is a mystery lying in wait, but at the time it was the cumulative worldly possessions of a college dropout with only a hunch that a stint in the military might do him some good.

To be continued…

A while back I got an unbelievable steal: $200 round-trip to San Francisco, California, from Jacksonville, Florida (and that wouldn’t pay a car’s gas even half way).

The primary purpose of the trip (other than to hang out for a weekend with an old high school bud) is to sort and empty out a storage unit 3/4 filled with stuff from about 18 years ago. Most of what’s there are books that I intend to keep, while the rest of it has either been upgraded or replaced long since. The question is, how to move just under 100 lbs. of books from coast to coast on the cheap?

FedEx wants over a dollar per pound and seven days to get it there. UPS is only asking for $80 or so. US Postal Service wants around $60-$70. And an option I’ve seen used in the past, “Greyhound Express” would throw it under a bus, up to 100 lbs in something as large as a foot locker, for about $60. Not bad.

There is another option, however. Being that its only a weekend, I can pack light and use my non carry-on (up to 50 lbs) to pack stuff in, then pay $25 for an extra bag (of up to 50 lbs again). If either bag is over 50, however, they charge you $50, and that’s only for 51 and up to 70 lbs. No, those numbers don’t make any sense, but you CAN stuff two bags with up to 50 lbs. each and only be out $25 more than your plane ticket. Of course, it used to be free and tipping the skycap $5 will let you load up two Navy-issue sea bags with about 100 lbs each (which is how I got most of that crap out there in the first place), but those days are sadly gone.

Breathing slowly, breathing slowly. Okay, better.

I noticed a traffic spike, which means unusually high server traffic coming into my movie site. Low and behold when I traced the source back to origin, SciFi.com has not only positively reviewed MovieCrypt, they’ve hailed it as their “Site of the Week!” Here’s what they said (before they change their minds):

April 23, 2008
Movie Crypt
By A.M. Dellamonica

For those viewers who shun horror movies, with their focus on death, scares and the darkest aspects of human nature, it may come as a surprise to hear that this genre is often one of the best sources going for pure—even zany—fun. Horror fans take unabashed delight in their gore and mayhem, whether it’s served up in stylish, funny-on-purpose zombie comedies like Fido and Shaun of the Dead or in grimmer pictures like Hannibal, whose campy moments are the funnier for being unintentional.

The sense of glee, of laughing in the face of death, is a big part of what makes horror fan sites so appealing, and Movie Crypt is no exception to that rule. With reviews, DVD contests, countdowns to anticipated flicks and a listing of trailers for both big-budget releases and independent films (be sure to check out the official preview for Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Undead!), this site offers comprehensive coverage of stylish suspense films and cheesy slasher flicks alike.

Movie Crypt’s resident Grim Reaper is an active web host, publishing the occasional rant—on the “green” makeover of the new The Day the Earth Stood Still script, for example, and the casting of Orlando Bloom as the title character in The Prince of Persia—as well as participating in friendly debates with site visitors, on topics like the probable quality of the new Indiana Jones movie. Upbeat, articulate and with attitude to spare, he disinters the forgotten and overlooked gems of the horror cinema, helping fans find movies that are now—or may someday be—true classics.

Can I meet Kara Thrace now?

I was going to start this post by saying, “It sucks to be a single American man in today’s day and age if you have any hope or desire to create a family.” It dawned on me only after I wrote it that I was wrong; I should be asking this question instead: “What do women expect from men?”

Here’s where I’m coming from. Expectations in any relationship used to be clearly defined and advertised, even handed down from parent to child. Nowadays, anyone can be anything they want, and as soon as one partner wants something else, there’s no dedication to a commitment to hold them back from it; someone wins, someone loses, and periodically kids and debts are in the middle. What used to be the lament of “nice guys” everywhere has now grown to an outcry from almost all men. It’s no longer a question of being a protector, a lover, a provider, or a partner; even those few of men who can manage all of the above can’t seem to hold a relationship together… in the traditional sense.

Maybe that’s where “The American Dream” disappeared to (if it ever really existed at all). Husband, wife, kids, car, house, happiness, retirement… crap. It was expected and government sponsored. But consider the two-income household to meet debts, creating the career woman who doesn’t need a man (again, in the traditional sense). If a woman projects that she “has it all” and needs nothing from a man (which, to be fair, is kind of what men have held over women for a while), what can he do to entice her to stay?

How about this question: “Are meaningful relationships even relevant anymore?” Meet, reproduce, make alimony and child support payments. Is that all there is now? Does anyone even want a family anymore? After all, there will always been men pursuing women no matter how much men are pushed away or must endure for the little companionship they seek, right?

Maybe the need to be needed by someone is something men need to get over, that the “save the damsel” mentality that has kept the human race going for thousands of years is finally spent and antiquated. Perhaps there are signs now that men are giving up trying for that brass ring, soul mate, or “the one.” Or, perhaps, it’s time for a role reversal, where men stop trying for a while and wait to be pursued. There’s always been a few “good ones” that the ladies refer to wanting, but what if men collectively just detached themselves from the whole pursuit and just took care of their own needs, period? And if that’s already happening, what might happen next?

I found the following ad on a popular website, and I can’t help but wonder if this is the tip of a whole new iceberg. Without identifying the product being advertised directly, here’s the pitch itself. Has it really come to this?

“You’re About To Learn Secrets That Most Women Will Never Know About Meeting And Keeping Great Men…” Inside you’ll learn…

• What goes on inside a man’s mind… and how attraction works for him.
• How to “cheat-proof” your relationship… and why he might be tempted.
• The ten fatal mistakes to avoid that most women make with men.
• What to do if your man has a “wandering eye”.
• The differences in how men and women think about dating… and why most men want to keep you from being successful.
• The seven secrets to communicating with a man that will create lasting love and affection.
• The truth about men who aren’t “emotionally available”… how to know if you’ve got one and what to do if you’re dating one.
• The five things women do that annoy men and kill intimacy.
• The inside tips married women know about the tell-tale signs of a great guy.

You’ve come a long way, bro.

At the breakup of my previous relationship, we amicably divided the assets and responsibilities. Two of those “responsibilities” were our “kids,” of which we had a rabbit and a cat. The cat always took to me better and the rabbit to her (although neither critter was ever especially fond of being held or cuddled).

We referred to our bunny as “Rupert” (last name “Giles” for those paying attention) and rescued him just before Easter weekend four or five years ago. As such, we referred to him as our Easter bunny. The term “rescue” rather then adoption refers to someone else discarding a difficult pet, often because the owner doesn’t know how to treat a bunny properly (see Rabbit.org for more enlightenment on that subject). We were under the impression that such critters properly taken care of could live to eight or nine years.

Sadly, on last Good Friday, Rupert passed away during the night. Interestingly, children celebrating the commercialized and ritualized Pagan portions of the following Sunday holiday were not disappointed that morning, which is creepy when you read way too much into it. Rest peacefully now, Rupert, and we’ll remember you every Easter along with that other guy who’s death was moved for religious purposes to Good Friday.

But please take this free piece of advice: rabbits are not merely reptile food, and for those daring to take them on as pets, please understand that they require attention and play like any cat or dog, not stuck in a painful cage like a Guinea pig or hamster. Giving them to preschoolers on Easter is not only cruel to the children but cruel to the rabbit, too. Again, see Rabbit.org and learn all about the secrets of the House Rabbits Society.

Clearly, my cat, Cinders, has been up to her evil ways again. In fact, I cannot say for sure who took this picture or even how they got in to take it… seriously, this was sent TO me. In any case, I am sure she had something to do with it (and yes, her spelling is atrocious).

Just uploaded WordPress 2.5 to my personal site, and I must say I like it. It doesn’t take long messing around with it to figure out the new logic in making it work for you. Yes, there are a few good suggestion already and I haven’t played with the new widget thingie yet, but I can tell you something I hate: the new funky “fresh” color scheme for the admin CSS layout. Worse yet, the “classic” version still really isn’t.

I went to WordPress.org and tried to find anything relevant under “admin color scheme” and found nothing significant. Maybe I didn’t look hard enough or whatever, but I decided instead to scratch the itch I’ve been having to go streaking through the new code.

It took only a peek at the source code on the “your profile” admin page to find what I was looking for: the names of the two admin CSS layouts. The folder for the CSS is easy enough to find in the WP-Admin area, and there I backed up the colors-fresh.css file. Using a couple of screen shots, I copied the color codes I wanted to replace, substituted red, black, and shades of grey for all the evil teals and blues, and uploaded. Poof! Nice new admin “fresh” layout.

It shouldn’t be too much work to create a plugin to substitute this new CSS file into the system for those who are plugin-creation savvy, which isn’t me because I haven’t taken the time yet to figure all that out. But if you want the CSS to upload yourself or make a nice plugin with, here ya go to right-click and save: colors-fresh.css.

There. Now I can officially say I’ve contributed.

by Cherie Carter-Scott (found by Neener!)

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it’s yours to keep for the entire period.
2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, “life.”
3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The “failed” experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately “work.”
4. Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.
5. Learning lessons does not end. There’s no part of life that doesn’t contain its lessons. If you’re alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.
6. “There” is no better a place than “here.” When your “there” has become a “here”, you will simply obtain another “there” that will again look better than “here.”
7. Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.
8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
9. Your answers lie within you. The answers to life’s questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.
10. You will forget all this.

AOL, previously America Online, was once THE original place for freaks and geeks to meet. Ravenous teen and young adults quickly became addicted to AOL’s mass-marketting of hundreds of thousands of free-trial disks, many of which became the target of jokes once the rush was over. But for all the newness of a gigantic interactive online community, self-imposed restrictions slowly chased away the audience as AOL was pressured to police itself.

Free-form upstarts such as Friendster networked buddies to buddies and provided revenue from advertising, but it wasn’t until the explosive growth of MySpace.com (and very public sale) that anyone really took notice. For the first time since AOL opened its doors, there was another “free” place that people could join, express themselves, then link up with friends and buddies all over the ‘net. And now, just like AOL before it, it has become so popular that self-policing has been called into question, as has pornography and other not-so-friendly content (and in some cases, users themselves).

For the last year or so, AOL has positioned itself onto the web no longer as a “gated community” with exclusive content, but open access inclusing free email and other features (with premium features for paying customers). But now rumors are surfacing of a so-called “MySpace Killer” that might combine AOL’s ability to serve tens of millions of customers with the free-form expression MySpace users crave, and it’s said to be coming soon. More interesting are the slowdowns and outages reported from MySpace users as well, including the moan that if there was anything better, they’d jump to it in an instant.

Will AOL again become the cool/hip/chic place to be, or is it all a bunch of hooey?

Among of the reasons I started a movie review web site was because 1) I was required to support a web space for one of my jobs and to learn how to setup and maintain a site, and 2) people knew I went to see films every weekend and always stopped by to ask me what I thought.

But another reason I wanted to do it was this: what was the cheapest I could get away with developing and promoting a (mostly) original content web site? Keep in mind that eight years ago, people were committing MILLIONS of dollars in capital (remember Pets.com?) to create the next big web sensation… just before the bubble popped.

And I succeeded in all my modest goals. I pay for basic hosting, traffic is moderate but consistant, money trickles in enough to cover the site, and I receive local and international requests for film and related reviews. Plus, it got me into a critics organization, which helped get access to more indepedent productions and widen my palette. To be regarded as any kind of voice or authority in a field such as film critique, it takes work, dedication, but most of all TIME… all the cash in the world cannot make you an instant repected authority, online or anywhere. And no one can predict what the next flash-in-the-pan will be online, but you can bet that everyone not on that train will be playing catch-up until the next big thing rolls around.

And so it was with YouTube.com. Here’s a website similar to AtomFilms.com but one where ANYONE with an account, a webcam, and a little imagination can be a star (or at least say, “Hey Mom! I’m on the internet!”) Recommendations are viral, and a few breakout hits have already started to show up (AskaNinja.com, anyone?) Plus, with free hosting of the “podcast” video and the ability to embed a player onto another website, you video content is available everywhere.

Saturday Night Live (and all the execs at NBC) found out about YouTube when someone uploaded a Natalie Portman rap video that was one of the skits on the night before… and people were watching! Again, consumers want content, and the easier it is to get to, the more likely they are to use it and come back to it. Why wouldn’t you want (or at least try to get) that kind of exposure?

So I put together a little studio, wrote a little content, cut together a little film, and uploaded my first movie… all 97 seconds worth. With a production budget of one decent webcam ($100), one movie rental ($5), and two project backlights ($18), the “studio” (aka office) was completed and production began. It’s up now on MovieCrypt.com, me in a mask in front of a camera happily making a fool of myself… will it be the next big thing, just for fun, or both?

Jeeves is dead. AskJeeves.com is now Ask.com.

Note: I didn’t come up with this, but I’d sure like to give proper credit to whomever did. If that’s you or you know where it is, email me the link so all’s well. In the meantime, I’m sharing.

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There’s a reason you don’t talk to people for 25 years. Because you don’t particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don’t eat anything that’s served to you out a window unless you’re a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy’s chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout?

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky b*st*rds. (amen!)

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here’s how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we’re done.

New Rule: There’s no such thing as flavoured water. There’s a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavoured water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That’s your flavoured water.

New Rule: Stop f***ing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that’s square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his a** will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the a**hole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a “decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n’-Low and one NutraSweet,” ooh, you’re a huge a**hole.

New Rule: I’m not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing “Enter,” verifying the amount, deciding,
no, I don’t want cash back, and pressing “Enter” again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn’t make you spiritual. It’s right above the crack of your a**. And it translates to “beef with broccoli.” The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren’t pregnant. You’re not spiritual. You’re just high.

New Rule: Competitive eating isn’t a sport. It’s one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What’s next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They’re already doing that. It’s called “The Howard Stern Show.”

New Rule: I don’t need a bigger mega M&M. If I’m extra hungry for M&Ms, I’ll go nuts and eat two.

New Rule: If you’re going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what’s playing on the other screens. Let’s remember the
reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn’t good enough to be a movie.

New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for
weddings. Now it’s for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn’t gift giving, it’s the white people version of looting.

New Rule: and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had s*x with George Michael. I can’t even tell if he’s supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don’t want to be on your web cam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.

I’ve coded web pages by hand, but it wasn’t until “blogging” software started being developed that I felt comfortable with giving up my happy “code is speghetti” way of writing things for the web. I’ve tried phpNuke and MovableType and so forth, but only WordPress has shown enough flexiblility and built-in content management to allow the small press publisher and do-it-yourself blogger to feel both empowered and supported.

And now, WordPress 2.0 is out! I like it so far, although it has a few new features I prefer not to use, WordPress still doesn’t force me to use them (just one more reason to love it!)

There is a lonely little blog currently online that, like any other blog, most of the internet can relate to. The difference is that this one originates in a New Orleans highrise data center being fed electricity by a diesel generator and connected to the web via fiber optic lines too deep to be affected by the current disaster situation. A handful of people in an air conditioned server room have become one of the eyes and ears in a city full of rumor, speculation, and accusation, for as long as the fuel holds out. Face it, folks; these people are exactly like you or I (except sitting on top of and enduring something no one would wish on their fellow human being). When the going gets tough, the tough get blogging.

As if denial-of-service, viruses, and spyware weren’t enough. Now comes ‘ransom-ware,’ a malicious program that encrypts your files, then demands money for the key to decrypt them. Reports are popping up all over the place about it, but that’s just eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-vil.

A “hobby” is something you work on occassionally but have no particular interest in actually finishing; it is something that happily takes up your time. A “career” is what you work on because you love it and enjoy doing what you love. Mere “work,” however, can indeed be a four-letter word because it’s what you have to do to pay the bills.

An opportunity has opened up for me that will certainly lend my career (ie happy work) more exposure, and that extra feedom will also allow some of my existing work to transcend a little higher than I originally intended. It will mean one more thing to keep track of, one additional responsibility, and even more critical eyes decending upon me; happily exhausted bliss.

No wonder I can’t get this stupid grin off my face.

You’d think the words “thinking” and “skull” would be pretty distinct. Unfortunately, no amount of clever tricks will allow Google to find your site until it decides to do so, and all kinds of other random stuff may come up first. Out of 60 links (that’s 6 pages of 10), not ONE of them was ThinkingSkull.com.

Finally, TODAY, it appeared. Better late than never, right?

It should be in the top ten now; try it by CLICKING HERE and see if it works!

So here it is: ThinkingSkull.com. It’s been “The Crypt of the Crystal Lich” and “The Lich’s Lair” and other things besides, but here it is again. And since honesty is the best policy, I have a confession: I hate journals. I hate keeping them, updating them, and all that. But, on the suggestion of a fellow creator, maybe it’s time I got past all of that and tried something new and old.

Let the new (and old) thinking begin… again. And now again!

Note: this is actually the SECOND time for this; turns out I found a better editor than Movable Type! Woo hoo! (sorry for the “woo hoo”)