https://www.google.com/settings/ads/onweb

If you use Google (mail, calendar, search), this should work. It pulls up the cookie that Google uses to customize search results and interprets it for you, including what you like to search for, how old you are, and your gender.

Me? It says I like Science Fiction & Fantasy Films, Internet Clients & Browsers, Computer & Video Games & Online Games, People & Society, and Shopping for Toys (pretty close!) and that I’m male (damn skippy).

However, is also thinks I’m 18-24 years old. Fooled you, Google-bot! Young at heart, I guess.

Ahem. Piracy is NOT theft.

There’s a difference. If someone steals you car, it’s gone. If someone steals a copy of your work, you still have your work, right? It’s a copy, and that copy can actually be a benefit (Wait… what?! But the government said…)

Locks keep honest people honest. If you drive past a couch on the street sitting next to some trash cans, it’s fair game. What if it was a car parked there instead of a couch? It’s all about context. A locked sliding glass door isn’t much of a real deterrent (seeing how you can get through it with a rock), but it does communicate a simple social truth: “This person isn’t sharing; it belongs to them.” Will that stop a real thief? Of course not, but it discourages the honest from considering theft.

“But I lost a sale?” Did you, now? What you should have said is “you lost a potential sale,” because that’s all it was. This is the reason marketing and advertising exists: to convince others that something you’re selling is worth buying. If someone steals something (reminder: that you didn’t lose) that they wouldn’t have bought to begin with, what did you actually lose? Nothing. What did you potentially gain? The possibility that, in the future, they may buy you stuff.

Neil Gaiman says, “You can’t look at (piracy) as a lost sale.” Artists are starting to get it (and no longer need to be content with starving); the potential benefits outweigh the negatives. In a video interview, Mr. Gaiman expressed these very notions, a reversal of his previous stance. “It’s people lending books. You can’t look at that as a lost sale. No one that wouldn’t have bought your book is not buying it… what you are doing is advertising.”

Storming the Gatekeepers. Here we come to the real issue: the gatekeepers. For decades, publishing houses and movie studios have had a lock on content creation AND distribution. If it’s helping Independent film makers and authors gain audiences and spur sales, what’s the problem? The loss of both control and exclusivity. These are huge businesses that are going under because they no longer have exclusive access to creation tools and distribution channels (or to push crap on you that you wouldn’t want to see or hear to begin with, but I digress). Computers and the Internet have changed everything, and now they have to compete with cat videos and digital books for eyeballs (and dollars). Some are changing with the times, but some are stubbornly holding out for a legislative miracle, and American consumers are getting wise to it (SOPA and PIPA, anyone?)

If it’s easy to own, it’s easier to buy. The music industry is supposed to be in shambles, but iTunes is making a fortune. When the last time you bought music at a store? How about a whole album? Major book stores are now going out of business (while small book sellers are making a comeback). The last bastion of big media, the film and television industry, sees the writing on the wall. What’s more is that they’ve done a far better job than music and literature at giving consumers what they want. Miss a movie at the theater? No problem. Buy the disc, download on demand, rent a pay-per-view, subscribe to a premium movie channel, or watch it with commercials on broadcast television. Isn’t that enough?

Prosecuting people who download free songs is like putting drug addicts in jail. This doesn’t make sense, folks. It feels like what it is, consumer bullying. Suing someone for millions of dollars for downloading 24 songs would be hilarious if it wasn’t happening (what? Do they need the money?) It’s all about context. People sharing isn’t piracy or theft; it’s advertising, free marketing from your established fans to new ones and potential sales. Even giving digital content away for a limited time can accomplish this, because everyone knows what “for a limited time only” means.

The only ones profiting from piracy prosecution are lawyers, the larval stage of politicians. Need I say more?

Don’t steal. Share. It’s all about context.

Click to get the first book, The Spooky Chronicles: The Crooked Man, for 99 cents in multiple ebook formats by using this code during check out: HQ39S

Moments after a child on his death bed passes away, he is visited by a mysterious “crooked man” who sends him back to the land of the living. Upon returning, the young boy realizes that his mother was taken in his place, but that’s only the beginning of the Crooked Man’s sinister plan.

Click to get the second book, The Spooky Chronicles: The Terminal People, for 99 cents in multiple ebook formats by using this code during check out: DE94L

Still growing up as a dead boy, “Spooky” Spencer Lawson is learning about the strange world he never asked to be a part of (which is a lot more interesting than math). When a mysterious stranger he meets in an alley appears to die after touching Spooky’s hand, Spooky begins to wonder how dangerous he really is, especially to the people he cares about.

Click to get the first book, The Spooky Chronicles: The Crooked Man, for 99 cents in multiple ebook formats by using this code during check out: HQ39S

Moments after a child on his death bed passes away, he is visited by a mysterious “crooked man” who sends him back to the land of the living. Upon returning, the young boy realizes that his mother was taken in his place, but that’s only the beginning of the Crooked Man’s sinister plan.

Click to get the second book, The Spooky Chronicles: The Terminal People, for 99 cents in multiple ebook formats by using this code during check out: DE94L

Still growing up as a dead boy, “Spooky” Spencer Lawson is learning about the strange world he never asked to be a part of (which is a lot more interesting than math). When a mysterious stranger he meets in an alley appears to die after touching Spooky’s hand, Spooky begins to wonder how dangerous he really is, especially to the people he cares about.

1. Write What You Know.

The oldest advice for would-be authors. Of course, it wouldn’t be interesting fiction if the ONLY thing you wrote was only what you had personally experienced. What’s being suggested here isn’t the overall plot but rather the details. Writers have the unique privilege of stepping into everyone’s shoes, but deep down there will always be the author’s reaction (even if it wasn’t the first one). What a character likes or doesn’t, believes or doesn’t, or even does or doesn’t always comes down to the personal choice of the author. When it feels disingenuous and phony, this is the reason. Go with your gut.

2. Descriptions are passé. Brand names are cool.

In my own current YA horror series, “The Spooky Chronicles,” my main character has a tendency to hang on the first detail that comes to mind and “brands” the character with that detail until he finds out more: the Veiled Woman, the Asian-looking Lady, the Butler Guy. Even though it’s from a child’s point of view, it’s something we all do, even as a adults. As he learns more about the people (along with the reader), his description changes, adding to the initial detail until he discovers a proper name for them. I will agree, however, that if the reference here is merely about swapping the word Motorola or iPhone for the description mobile phone, it’s feels a bit lazy unless there’s a specific reason why that particular brand is important. Besides, it more fun to write “My dad’s favorite beer, the one with the patriot on the label” then just say Sam Adams.

3. Fiction is a lie.

Of course it is, but as the story goes, “I want to know how it ends.” If the story was actually was true, it’d be a documentary, right? I agree with Belmond on this, however, being the most pretentious of the five; it kind of goes without saying, so even saying is sounds pretty pompous as an excuse for anything.

4. Literary fiction equals literature (and is therefore superior to genre fiction).

For the initiated, literary fiction or “serious fiction” is said to focus “more upon style, psychological depth, and character… in comparison from genre fiction and popular fiction (i.e., paraliterature).” This is the second biggest fib in this list (mostly agreeing with the author for the second time), but it does create a good point. A well-rounded story should take all of this into consideration; there’s no rule to trade one for the other or that says both don’t work. Heavy drama benefits more from character depth than an action thriller, but they are different kinds of stories with different things that readers look for.

5. “Hey, writers are entertainers. I’m not trying to be Tolstoy.”

Of course, they aren’t. How many of them even know who Tolstoy is?