ThinkingSkull.com

The twisted individuals who run the web comic Least I Could Do periodically run “finish the sentence” contests for fabulous prizes (or just plain fun). In either case, I thought I’d share my entry here while calling attention to idea itself.

“The Hadron Collider caused…” the polar ice caps to refreeze, global temperatures to stabilize, and hurricanes to become less powerful. No, wait, that’s what happens when you play Al Gore’s “An Inconvenient Truth” in reverse… sorry, I was confused by the question.

Think you can do better? Prove it.

In addition to all the rumors about CD Tray cupholders, mouse footpedals (look at the old Singer sewing machines), and people looking for reverse buttons to “back up their hard drives,” I’m always amazed at what an uninformed, average person makes from what seems like foolproof instructions. Case in point:

Customer: “What is the Hotmail code to link my site?”
Consultant: “I’ve never heard of that.”
Customer: “All these sites ask for that.”
Consultant: (thinking) “Um… spell Hotmail for me?”
Customer: “H… T… M… L. That’s Hotmail code, right?”

Contrary to what Microsoft may think, “HyperText Markup Language” or HTML (the code that websites are generally written in) has nothing to do with their free email service (at Hotmail dot com). Best laugh I’ve had since watching squirrels jamming out to rock and roll on my birthday e-card!

Okay, a while back some friends in the table-top gaming world were playing around with some futuristic science fiction concepts, specifically around the future of space travel and even colonization. As a “futurist concept,” one of the things I’ve always played around with was the idea of an electrical thruster based on light pulses, or a “light pulse thruster.”

The Newtonian problem with that you can’t propel something without propellant, like rocket fuel or even explosives. There have, however, been successful tests in creating materials that can move energy through it from one side to another, like those combination hot-or-cold coolers you plug into the wall. It merely moves heat (energy) through a plate either toward the inside (making the inside hot) or to the outside (making the inside cool). If this can move heat/energy, the idea is focusing that energy into some type of thrust.

So far, no one has figured out a way to convert electrical energy directly into thrust without using up a consumable fuel, creating the limitation of no fuel, no go. This brings us to the “Em-drive,” a Chinese concept that is essentially a power source hooked up to a nozzle that will, theoretically, create thrust. Most physicists say it cannot work based on everything I just said above (and a few more technical reasons, too), but if it DOES work, it would revolutionized the space industry and everything from manned space flight to interplanetary travel.

Crap. I could have made a fortune… if it works!

Is this it? My official license to have a midlife crisis? I don’t FEEL tardy…!

What no one tells you when you’re 10 or 20 is that, as you get older, your brain still thinks it can do things your body is telling you not to. Fortunately, as a creative man-child Libra, I’ve never really listened to the whole “act your age” bit. With all the preservatives the media tells me I’ve consumed over the years, shouldn’t I expect to live forever?

I don’t worry that some of the music and media I enjoy is made by talented people half my age, kids young enough to have possibly been, in a parallel world, my own adult children. I will say that, with the current state of technology where it is, it’s a wonderful time to be creative and be seen creatively. At the same time, I also grieve that there are entire generations being left behind and even stricken lonely because they either refuse to accept or cannot embrace modern communication, whether it be cell phones, texting, or the Internet. Never before on this planet in recorded history has such a wealth of information, opinion, and ideas been readily available, and I’m happy to be employed in a sector which keeps me informed and on top of much of the latest innovation that’s moving it all forward.

Yes, I’m older, but I don’t see myself as old; that’s for younger people to do. It’s easy to look back and think, “If I knew when I was 20 what I know now… wow.” Unfortunately, you have to really live through it to get the benefit of that experience. Those up-and-comers won’t understand this until they’re my age (if they ever realize it all), and that’s something I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world.

And to everyone on the road up ahead of me, looking back and laughing now that I’m at the top of the hill, why didn’t any of you tell me there’s ANOTHER hill up ahead?! I hate you all… happy 40th birthday to me!

I have just updated a mirror site attached to this domain called Darker Anthology. While I drop ideas here and comment on film via MovieCrypt.com, I’ve decided to take up the mantle of fleshing out some of these twisted ideas I’ve been building up now for the last twenty years.

From traveling the world in the US Navy to being married and divorced, it’s been an interesting few years, and while my articulation putting words to paper has improved, I’ve suddenly felt the need to start sharing some of this stuff and see what happens. I’ve started with reposting a few words from this site, but look for the new stuff to start trickling in very soon and with more frequency.

I’ll only repeat this about a dozen times: it’s gonna be dark.

This seems like a reasonable question, yes? The so-called LHC super-collider may be running by the time you read this, but any number of the experiments they’re running could (supposedly) cause a time loop (ala Groundhog’s Day), a series of micro black holes that will rip the world apart, or recreate the actual Big Bang and reset everything to zero. If you MUST know for sure if our space-time continuum is still wholly intact, check out Has the large hadron collider destroyed the world yet .com for the simple answer. For an extra treat among all you code monkeys, read the page source, too. Credit goes to NeedCoffee.com for tirelessly looking for this trivial stuff.

While not as tiring as my last con two weeks ago, I would probably have been less inclined to stay up as late as I did at DragonCon for many things had I not already previously been to the other convention. Here’s a few pictures of the festivities (with captions), and here’s a few things to pass on that I learned from this con:

• The rooms in the Hyatt have been nicely redone, but it’s still hell trying to get an elevator. Try booking at the Marriott Marquis instead.
• Coming in a day early (even with no previously-bought ticket) got us through the line in 20 minutes.
• Arriving at 3:00pm on Thursday was prefect for missing traffic and getting checked in quick.
• If you’re into concerts, stay at the Hyatt.
• If you’ve got 20 costume changes, stay at the Marriott.
• If you’re into gaming or autographs, stay at the Atlanta Hilton.
• If you paid $50-$90 to get in, why is Adam West charging $50 just for his autograph?!
• If you’re into the panel tracks, stay at the Sheraton.
• Get to your panel/show/whatever early, because you may not get into the few things you want… even if there was room for 1200 people. Seriously.
• Bringing a cooler and drinks saved a lot of dough (even though the hotel says it isn’t allowed… shhh!)
• Real comfy shoes are a must (okay, that was a given).
• THREE dealer rooms. Sheesh.
• The “Sear” steakhouse in the Marriott is excellent and reasonable. Try the Angus prime rib and the 15-layer chocolate cake.
• “Witchblade” star Yancy Butler is too superstitious (and admittedly Catholic Irish) to shake “the hand of Death.” Smart lady! (She wouldn’t even show him a picture of her dog!)

I’ll add more if I think of any.